I love the following website: http://theshapeofamother.com/
This website shows clearly what the body of a mother can look like. Mothers do not have their teenage bodies anymore, which is totally normal.
Unfortunately the advertisements don't show what the body of a mother looks like after having had a baby.
This site does.
Thursday 31 July 2008
Monday 28 July 2008
Birthtrack (tm)
Here is another disruption of: freedom during labour, freedom of movement, freedom of letting labour take its natural course of faster and slower phases, etc. etc.
How on earth can someone imagine using that and how on earth do they come up with the crap:
http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2008/07/more-better-birth-track-tm.html
Have a read, its unbelievable.
I love Rixa's blog, very informative.
How on earth can someone imagine using that and how on earth do they come up with the crap:
http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2008/07/more-better-birth-track-tm.html
Have a read, its unbelievable.
I love Rixa's blog, very informative.
Friday 25 July 2008
Personal Coaching
For the last 20 years I have educated myself on Continuum Concept parenting, breastfeeding, childbirth, elimination communication, baby language and baby sign language, homeschooling and traditional nutrition. Therefore I offer telephone based coaching for people who want to brain-storm with me on those topics. In our family we practise Continuum Concept Parenting, breastfeeding with child-led weaning, co-sleeping until the child moves on, unschooling, natural childbirth, traditional nutrition. For us this is a full package. Of course I can respect that this is not the case for all individuals. Therefore our brain-storm sessions can be limited to one or more of those topics.
The goal is to enjoy life, respect your family members and it needs a commitment to natural living, whether we talk about parenting, breastfeeding, childbirth, homeschooling or nutrition. The starting point of our conversations will always be what humans need and naturally evolutionary expect, whether it is parenting or nutrition. In some cases things may not be easy to discuss or hear.
You can read through my blogs to find out more about the way we, as a family, live these topics.
What I consider important in life and in our sessions:
- That parents understand that it is very important to create a strong bond with their children. This means: breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby carrying, etc. This should not abruptly change at a certain age, children will outgrow their needs as a baby when they are ready and will grow up, there is no need to push that. This bond built through closeness should continue beyond infancy and toddler hood. It is important to keep working on this bond to make sure it is still there in the teenage years and beyond.
- That parents are looking into different ways than the common coercive ways of parenting. These ways do not create responsible or happy children. Therefore I recommend using alternative methods to time-out, punishment, threats, rewards and praise.
- That children get the chance to develop in their own time and ways. Children will learn the things they need in life, while living it. There is no need to teach as children are naturally curious and will ask question after question. In times that they do not, they are "digesting" the information that they have tirelessly asked questions about before.
As a coach I am a unique person with quite a few different (old fashioned?) thoughts on life, I am very suitable as a coach for people who want a personal coach to help them bring out the best for themselves and their families.
Working with a coach like me is all about what kind of parent you want to be or become. It is about brain-storming and thinking outside the box. It is not a therapy, although healing can happen in case this is necessary to be able to think outside the box. I do incorporate certain aspects of psychology to help parents reach their goals.
As a coach I do not want to focus on changing the children's behaviour if this is considered a problem. This is only short term management, which will not give any healthy long term changes. It can actually be quite damaging to the bond between the parent and the child and with that will not benefit you and your family at all. People who want to work with me want to build a good bond with their children.
My goal is to help parents understand the way children think and how to be creative in their problem solving. The starting point should be unconditionally loving your child, from that place you will be inspired to find loving ways of dealing with the various situations that can arise.
Slowly but carefully you and your family will create new patterns and habits which are much more pleasant for your whole family.
As I have a family myself and we are unschooling I do want you to realize that there can be back ground sounds and maybe even some interruption if one of my children needs me, of course when that happens your time will be extended, you will get what you pay for. Naturally this will be minimized as much as possible. Because of this I have preferred times for sessions, which are when my partner is home to take care of the children and other issues that may arise.
Anybody who needs a coaching session can book one with me.
The sessions can be booked for:
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sundays between 10.00 and 14.00 hrs. or in the evenings after 19.30 hrs. The most ideal times for me are on Saturday and Sunday. Then I can often also book sessions in the afternoons.
1 hour: £35,00 / Euro 40,00
45 minutes: £ 30,00 / Euro 35,00
30 minutes: £ 20,00 / Euro 25,00
20 minutes: £ 15,00 / Euro 17,50
In case you would like to have ongoing, weekly coaching sessions the monthly fees are:
1 hour: £ 135,00 / Euro 155,00
45 minutes: £ 115,00 / Euro 135,00
30 minutes: £ 75,00 / Euro 85,00
20 minutes: £ 55,00 / Euro 65,00
Usually there will be four sessions per month when you book ongoing, weekly coaching sessions.
The fees are in British Pounds and Euro's, upon request I can also inform you on the fees in other (European) currencies.
When you have made an appointment for a session, you can simply phone me on the requested time, after I have confirmed the time to you by e-mail. I will send you my phone number in the confirmation e-mail. It is also possible to make an appointment in which I phone you, this will add some charges to the fee for my telephone costs.
You can book a session by sending me a request by e-mail, following which I will send you a paypal invoice. e-mail: dboskma@gmail.com
The goal is to enjoy life, respect your family members and it needs a commitment to natural living, whether we talk about parenting, breastfeeding, childbirth, homeschooling or nutrition. The starting point of our conversations will always be what humans need and naturally evolutionary expect, whether it is parenting or nutrition. In some cases things may not be easy to discuss or hear.
You can read through my blogs to find out more about the way we, as a family, live these topics.
What I consider important in life and in our sessions:
- That parents understand that it is very important to create a strong bond with their children. This means: breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby carrying, etc. This should not abruptly change at a certain age, children will outgrow their needs as a baby when they are ready and will grow up, there is no need to push that. This bond built through closeness should continue beyond infancy and toddler hood. It is important to keep working on this bond to make sure it is still there in the teenage years and beyond.
- That parents are looking into different ways than the common coercive ways of parenting. These ways do not create responsible or happy children. Therefore I recommend using alternative methods to time-out, punishment, threats, rewards and praise.
- That children get the chance to develop in their own time and ways. Children will learn the things they need in life, while living it. There is no need to teach as children are naturally curious and will ask question after question. In times that they do not, they are "digesting" the information that they have tirelessly asked questions about before.
As a coach I am a unique person with quite a few different (old fashioned?) thoughts on life, I am very suitable as a coach for people who want a personal coach to help them bring out the best for themselves and their families.
Working with a coach like me is all about what kind of parent you want to be or become. It is about brain-storming and thinking outside the box. It is not a therapy, although healing can happen in case this is necessary to be able to think outside the box. I do incorporate certain aspects of psychology to help parents reach their goals.
As a coach I do not want to focus on changing the children's behaviour if this is considered a problem. This is only short term management, which will not give any healthy long term changes. It can actually be quite damaging to the bond between the parent and the child and with that will not benefit you and your family at all. People who want to work with me want to build a good bond with their children.
My goal is to help parents understand the way children think and how to be creative in their problem solving. The starting point should be unconditionally loving your child, from that place you will be inspired to find loving ways of dealing with the various situations that can arise.
Slowly but carefully you and your family will create new patterns and habits which are much more pleasant for your whole family.
As I have a family myself and we are unschooling I do want you to realize that there can be back ground sounds and maybe even some interruption if one of my children needs me, of course when that happens your time will be extended, you will get what you pay for. Naturally this will be minimized as much as possible. Because of this I have preferred times for sessions, which are when my partner is home to take care of the children and other issues that may arise.
Anybody who needs a coaching session can book one with me.
The sessions can be booked for:
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sundays between 10.00 and 14.00 hrs. or in the evenings after 19.30 hrs. The most ideal times for me are on Saturday and Sunday. Then I can often also book sessions in the afternoons.
1 hour: £35,00 / Euro 40,00
45 minutes: £ 30,00 / Euro 35,00
30 minutes: £ 20,00 / Euro 25,00
20 minutes: £ 15,00 / Euro 17,50
In case you would like to have ongoing, weekly coaching sessions the monthly fees are:
1 hour: £ 135,00 / Euro 155,00
45 minutes: £ 115,00 / Euro 135,00
30 minutes: £ 75,00 / Euro 85,00
20 minutes: £ 55,00 / Euro 65,00
Usually there will be four sessions per month when you book ongoing, weekly coaching sessions.
The fees are in British Pounds and Euro's, upon request I can also inform you on the fees in other (European) currencies.
When you have made an appointment for a session, you can simply phone me on the requested time, after I have confirmed the time to you by e-mail. I will send you my phone number in the confirmation e-mail. It is also possible to make an appointment in which I phone you, this will add some charges to the fee for my telephone costs.
You can book a session by sending me a request by e-mail, following which I will send you a paypal invoice. e-mail: dboskma@gmail.com
Monday 21 July 2008
A short in the dark
Here is a wonderful blog post.
Have a read.
I could for sure not have said it better, she did a superb job.
http://www.nakedauthors.com/2008/03/shot-in-dark.html
Have a read.
I could for sure not have said it better, she did a superb job.
http://www.nakedauthors.com/2008/03/shot-in-dark.html
Saturday 19 July 2008
Twisted thinking in a modern world
Recently I had a enlightening moment of totally not understand what is going on in this world and the wish to live in another.
A few things that sprung to mind.
* the thought that its dangerous to have a baby at home. WHY? Statistically it is safer to have a baby at home than in the hospital. There are less possibilities to just get induced or get an unnecessean. We have done it for 13 million years, why change a thing that has obviously worked for that? There is no need to repair what isn't broken, women's bodies are designed to give birth - twisted, very twisted.
* to even consider bottle feeding. WHY? Women have breasts to feed. Its not healthy for a baby to be bottle fed. The baby expects naturally to be breast fed instead of having some silicon thing put in its mouth. The intestines of a baby is not fully ripe, human milk will take care of that.
* to consider spanking a child. WHY? Who came up with that stupid thought?
* to circumcise a baby boy or girl for that matter. WHY? Which perverted idiot started that crap?
* school? WHY? The one coming up with that must have had some twisted mind. Were people total idiots before someone came up with the idea of school. No, children learned and were able to make a living as well. Children will learn, I see it first hand. I also see first hand the problems the school system is causing, in terms of peer pressure etc.
* poly unsatured fats. WHY? They haven't been in our diet until recently and we definitely don't need those, they clog up your arteries, so why use it? Its not for nothing that heart disease, cancer and all kinds of other diseases are so on the rise. That has to have something to do with our present diet. Therefore my guess is, if we go back to a traditional diet we would all be much healthier. For 13 million years we have eaten a traditional diet with saturated fats, raw milk, meat whenever available, we are still here, if it would be so bad for us we wouldn't have made it here. In the hunter gatherer times there wasn't as much cancer and heart disease and people were cooking over fires and using saturated fats, they weren't using poly unsatured, that needs quite some work to get that out, so not natural, they weren't using tons of additives, they weren't using soya, they weren't using added synthetic vitamins, do I really need to go on? Its just a matter of common sense I would say.
* vaccines. WHY? The diseases vaccinated for are either easily preventable - HPV! - or had made a huge decline in happening way before the vaccines came on the market or were even almost extinct. Why was that, mainly better hygiene and another big part was that there was less malnutrition because people got better access to food.
In traditional cultures that have good food you can see that those people are healthy.
* additives to food. WHY? Why put chemicals in there, like MSG, colours, flavours, preservatives etc. when natural food is healthier?
* soya. WHY? This has not been a food in Asia like it is here. People mainly used it in times of famin. It was mainly used as a crop to grow and then dig under coz it made more nutrients in the soil more easily available to plants grown on there right after. In Asia people use less soya per day than the average person does here. So why use it so much here, when it hasn't even been grown here until recently. It isn't very healthy either in the way its prepared in the west, in Asia they use much different methods to prepare soya. Most processes taking several months, instead of several minutes in the factory.
* wreck the environment. WHY? Don't you want your children to inherit something that they can actually live in?
* antibiotics. WHY? Its in the meantime clear that its not the ultimate solution and sometimes makes things worse - MRSA and buddies.....
* cholesterol lowering meds. WHY? There is absolutely no conclusive proof that cholesterol is the problem, based on the studies its more likely that high cholesterol is a sign something is wrong, like arteries that need to be repaired, which the body can do itself, hence the high cholesterol. Its very unlikely that the present road taken is working.
Of course I could go on there are more things that bug me. I do not understand why the majority of people in this world seem to go for all kinds of unnatural, artificial and just outright stupid things when there is no need for that, as we have proven in the 13 million years we are in this world. Its mind boggling to me. I wonder where people's common sense went.
It can be really frustrating to live in this world with lack of common sense. Sometimes I wish I could live in another.
A few things that sprung to mind.
* the thought that its dangerous to have a baby at home. WHY? Statistically it is safer to have a baby at home than in the hospital. There are less possibilities to just get induced or get an unnecessean. We have done it for 13 million years, why change a thing that has obviously worked for that? There is no need to repair what isn't broken, women's bodies are designed to give birth - twisted, very twisted.
* to even consider bottle feeding. WHY? Women have breasts to feed. Its not healthy for a baby to be bottle fed. The baby expects naturally to be breast fed instead of having some silicon thing put in its mouth. The intestines of a baby is not fully ripe, human milk will take care of that.
* to consider spanking a child. WHY? Who came up with that stupid thought?
* to circumcise a baby boy or girl for that matter. WHY? Which perverted idiot started that crap?
* school? WHY? The one coming up with that must have had some twisted mind. Were people total idiots before someone came up with the idea of school. No, children learned and were able to make a living as well. Children will learn, I see it first hand. I also see first hand the problems the school system is causing, in terms of peer pressure etc.
* poly unsatured fats. WHY? They haven't been in our diet until recently and we definitely don't need those, they clog up your arteries, so why use it? Its not for nothing that heart disease, cancer and all kinds of other diseases are so on the rise. That has to have something to do with our present diet. Therefore my guess is, if we go back to a traditional diet we would all be much healthier. For 13 million years we have eaten a traditional diet with saturated fats, raw milk, meat whenever available, we are still here, if it would be so bad for us we wouldn't have made it here. In the hunter gatherer times there wasn't as much cancer and heart disease and people were cooking over fires and using saturated fats, they weren't using poly unsatured, that needs quite some work to get that out, so not natural, they weren't using tons of additives, they weren't using soya, they weren't using added synthetic vitamins, do I really need to go on? Its just a matter of common sense I would say.
* vaccines. WHY? The diseases vaccinated for are either easily preventable - HPV! - or had made a huge decline in happening way before the vaccines came on the market or were even almost extinct. Why was that, mainly better hygiene and another big part was that there was less malnutrition because people got better access to food.
In traditional cultures that have good food you can see that those people are healthy.
* additives to food. WHY? Why put chemicals in there, like MSG, colours, flavours, preservatives etc. when natural food is healthier?
* soya. WHY? This has not been a food in Asia like it is here. People mainly used it in times of famin. It was mainly used as a crop to grow and then dig under coz it made more nutrients in the soil more easily available to plants grown on there right after. In Asia people use less soya per day than the average person does here. So why use it so much here, when it hasn't even been grown here until recently. It isn't very healthy either in the way its prepared in the west, in Asia they use much different methods to prepare soya. Most processes taking several months, instead of several minutes in the factory.
* wreck the environment. WHY? Don't you want your children to inherit something that they can actually live in?
* antibiotics. WHY? Its in the meantime clear that its not the ultimate solution and sometimes makes things worse - MRSA and buddies.....
* cholesterol lowering meds. WHY? There is absolutely no conclusive proof that cholesterol is the problem, based on the studies its more likely that high cholesterol is a sign something is wrong, like arteries that need to be repaired, which the body can do itself, hence the high cholesterol. Its very unlikely that the present road taken is working.
Of course I could go on there are more things that bug me. I do not understand why the majority of people in this world seem to go for all kinds of unnatural, artificial and just outright stupid things when there is no need for that, as we have proven in the 13 million years we are in this world. Its mind boggling to me. I wonder where people's common sense went.
It can be really frustrating to live in this world with lack of common sense. Sometimes I wish I could live in another.
Tuesday 8 July 2008
Case against Lotus Birth by Jaikali
A friend of mine who is an Independent Midwife wrote the following and I agree to that.
Have a read:
Below I have listed some reasons that I oppose Lotus Birth for myself. This is not to judge anyone who chooses Lotus Birth, which is a very personal matter; but I do think anyone considering it--as with any other matter concerning birth and health--ought to be able to look at all sides before deciding. This is not intended to be the start of a debate, either; those who support Lotus Birth have other threads in which to speak of those beliefs as well as LB methods. I hope for this to be a thread which the reasons to let go of the placenta soon after birth are brought forward.
1. However emotionally attached babies get to their placentas (and there is no way for us to measure or know this), the fact is that that attachment is based on the placenta as a live and nourishing/nurturing presence. At birth, the placenta dies. In life, there is no other loved being whom we would carry around with us after s/he/it was dead. We would perhaps lovingly and ritually honor that loved one, even keep it to look at for a day or so (as in a 'wake' before funeral), and bury it with respect and thought. But once dead, no human culture nor animal species chooses to carry around the dead....it is dead, however alive, loved and important it once was. Being born into human life necessarily includes dealing with the mortal and transitory nature of physical existence. It is my thought that if there *is* an emotional attachment between baby and placenta, including a spiritual significance of the placenta and baby's separation from it, then that, IMO, is about baby's first emotional/spiritual experience with knowing mortality and letting go. We can delay that with a Lotus Birth, at best...but I can't see any real purpose in that for baby. "there is a time for every purpose under heaven".
2. It is dead meat and begins to rot immediately. It is against all natural tendencies and creature habits to keep dead rotting meat hanging around--all mammals either eat the placenta entirely, or eat just a bit of it and then get up and get far away from it to avoid flies and predators.
3. Perhaps the best way to honor the placenta and it's physical *and* spiritual significance to all concerned is to eat it. On a physical level, that would be the reusing/ingesting of a ton of important nutrients and hormones. On a spiritual level, it is akin to Christian communion. An modified form of that communion would be to plant something over a buried placenta.
4. The cord dries quite hard and stiff. This can't possibly be comfortable for the baby, as it can't help but poke and be easily pulled with every movement--and every single LB story I've heard includes accounts of the inconvenience of dealing with the attached package of placenta in part because of the stiffness of the cord. Baby's discomfort is often described in terms of his/her grief or displeasure with anyone 'messing with their placenta'---but I can't help but think that it is more like simple irritation at having this dried stiff thing still attached, impinging on every move and possibly hurting at the umbilicus. I think we need to be very careful about assuming we understand what a baby cares about and experiences; it can be just as disrespectful to be oversensitive on baby's behalf, as it is to be completely insensitive to baby's needs and feelings. Also a mother, I want nothing at all to be in the way of nursing, changing and cuddling my baby, and passing her/him around to loving others.
5. If placentas were meant to stay attached for a few days, they would not require any sort of salting or preserving or a special bag to keep them from being touched by baby or others...it just wouldn't rot.
ok, well that's about it for now. Does anyone else have other reasons they feel that cord is best cut at some point within a few hours of birth, and placenta either eaten or allowed to return to the earth through burial?
Have a read:
Below I have listed some reasons that I oppose Lotus Birth for myself. This is not to judge anyone who chooses Lotus Birth, which is a very personal matter; but I do think anyone considering it--as with any other matter concerning birth and health--ought to be able to look at all sides before deciding. This is not intended to be the start of a debate, either; those who support Lotus Birth have other threads in which to speak of those beliefs as well as LB methods. I hope for this to be a thread which the reasons to let go of the placenta soon after birth are brought forward.
1. However emotionally attached babies get to their placentas (and there is no way for us to measure or know this), the fact is that that attachment is based on the placenta as a live and nourishing/nurturing presence. At birth, the placenta dies. In life, there is no other loved being whom we would carry around with us after s/he/it was dead. We would perhaps lovingly and ritually honor that loved one, even keep it to look at for a day or so (as in a 'wake' before funeral), and bury it with respect and thought. But once dead, no human culture nor animal species chooses to carry around the dead....it is dead, however alive, loved and important it once was. Being born into human life necessarily includes dealing with the mortal and transitory nature of physical existence. It is my thought that if there *is* an emotional attachment between baby and placenta, including a spiritual significance of the placenta and baby's separation from it, then that, IMO, is about baby's first emotional/spiritual experience with knowing mortality and letting go. We can delay that with a Lotus Birth, at best...but I can't see any real purpose in that for baby. "there is a time for every purpose under heaven".
2. It is dead meat and begins to rot immediately. It is against all natural tendencies and creature habits to keep dead rotting meat hanging around--all mammals either eat the placenta entirely, or eat just a bit of it and then get up and get far away from it to avoid flies and predators.
3. Perhaps the best way to honor the placenta and it's physical *and* spiritual significance to all concerned is to eat it. On a physical level, that would be the reusing/ingesting of a ton of important nutrients and hormones. On a spiritual level, it is akin to Christian communion. An modified form of that communion would be to plant something over a buried placenta.
4. The cord dries quite hard and stiff. This can't possibly be comfortable for the baby, as it can't help but poke and be easily pulled with every movement--and every single LB story I've heard includes accounts of the inconvenience of dealing with the attached package of placenta in part because of the stiffness of the cord. Baby's discomfort is often described in terms of his/her grief or displeasure with anyone 'messing with their placenta'---but I can't help but think that it is more like simple irritation at having this dried stiff thing still attached, impinging on every move and possibly hurting at the umbilicus. I think we need to be very careful about assuming we understand what a baby cares about and experiences; it can be just as disrespectful to be oversensitive on baby's behalf, as it is to be completely insensitive to baby's needs and feelings. Also a mother, I want nothing at all to be in the way of nursing, changing and cuddling my baby, and passing her/him around to loving others.
5. If placentas were meant to stay attached for a few days, they would not require any sort of salting or preserving or a special bag to keep them from being touched by baby or others...it just wouldn't rot.
ok, well that's about it for now. Does anyone else have other reasons they feel that cord is best cut at some point within a few hours of birth, and placenta either eaten or allowed to return to the earth through burial?
Appendix
Today I read a very interesting article on the website of Dr. Mercola.
It is about the fact that the appendix does have a function.
Well, that is something that I always thought. I cannot imagine our bodies having useless features, would be kinda odd biologically speaking to put effort and energy into creating something that is useless.
It seems that is the place for the gut bacteria, which make total sense to me.
There you go, have a read:
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/07/08/helpful-bacteria-may-be-hiding-in-your-appendix.aspx?source=nl
It is about the fact that the appendix does have a function.
Well, that is something that I always thought. I cannot imagine our bodies having useless features, would be kinda odd biologically speaking to put effort and energy into creating something that is useless.
It seems that is the place for the gut bacteria, which make total sense to me.
There you go, have a read:
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/07/08/helpful-bacteria-may-be-hiding-in-your-appendix.aspx?source=nl
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