Due to time constraints its been a bit quiet on the blog here, but this is something I would like to share.
Cheeseslave is doing a give-away - quite often actually - but this time its about a menu-mailer. I think this could be a really good one. In the past I have tried some, and some were downright disappointing, but Ann-Marie from Cheeseslave is someone who is with the Weston A Price Foundation and has some real good sense on healthy food. So therefore I am sure this one will be good.
Here is the link:
http://www.cheeseslave.com/giveaway-cheeseslave-menus-by-mail-85-value/comment-page-2/#comment-172362
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Traditional food preparation
I have run into a blog and e-course fairly recently which I have come to enjoy. The website is http://gnowfglins.com/
The good thing about this website and their e-course is that they teach traditional food preparation, which is what is the only road to keep people healthy.
I do think the emphasize on grains is too high as I do consider grain consumption somehow that must be kept to a minimum. However, the way the lessons teach how to prepare the grain dishes is really really good. They are sourdough, cakes and cookies and also pancakes, which is basically the only way to eat grains, as else the anti-nutrients will wreck havoc on your system and will leave you with deficiencies.
Anyway have a read and see what you think, I like it
The good thing about this website and their e-course is that they teach traditional food preparation, which is what is the only road to keep people healthy.
I do think the emphasize on grains is too high as I do consider grain consumption somehow that must be kept to a minimum. However, the way the lessons teach how to prepare the grain dishes is really really good. They are sourdough, cakes and cookies and also pancakes, which is basically the only way to eat grains, as else the anti-nutrients will wreck havoc on your system and will leave you with deficiencies.
Anyway have a read and see what you think, I like it
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
holiday and ordered food
The case is:
A family is on holiday, father, mother, teenage son and teenage daughter. While being on holiday for 3 weeks on a nice camping there is a visit to a nearby historical town.
There they decided to have a drink in a nice restaurant. The daughter asks if she can also have a sandwich as she is also hungry. The parents agree. The daughter picks a sandwich that sounds good to her.
When they bring it, it is pretty large. The daughter seems to get distressed by the mere sight.
After eating it halfway, the daughter is full and cannot eat it any more and tells her mother that. The mother insists she eats it all as she has ordered it. The daughter continues eating.
So, what is wrong with this case.
Quite some things actually. It seems the "normal" way to go when parenting, but why? Would you do that to your partner? He or she is full, would you make him or her eat it, even though he or she basically cannot any more?
So why would you do it to your child? Out of the principle that one has to finish what one orders? Why would your child have to do that when your partner does not?
I am convinced that type of parenting is creating at least obesity and likely also eating disorders.
Just imagine the feeling of being full and then having to add about the same amount to that? Wouldn't you want to throw up? I can certainly see how a parenting style like that can create bulimia. Actually I am convinced that forcing children to finish their food, especially when they are already teenagers, and especially girls, where there is already quite an emphasise on looking good, will create that.
And who is to say that this teenage girl did not go to the loo afterwards to throw it all out again. It would certainly be relieving to her.
Another part of this picture that bothers me is another of one health. Overeating disrupts the digestive system. Its overloaded. An overloaded stomach cannot properly work with the food. One should never eat more than about 80%. And then this halfway worked on food ends up in the gut. Count your blessings.
The other thing that concerns me in this picture is the fact that there is no respect for the child. The child is full, that should be respected, nobody should be forced to eat or drink more than they can. This is simply mentally and emotionally unhealthy parenting. I cannot understand how parents can do this to their children.
It is emotionally also disrespectful to the child. This child, even though its a teenager, ended up eating the whole baguette (out of fear?), eventhough the child was full and already obese. What will this action of the mother tell the child. That its worthless, that her mother does not care about how she feels or her health or the way she looks?
To be honest from what I have learned about this family and their behaviour during the vacation it was quite clear that both the son and the daughter were not taken serious. Their emotions were not taken serious. This was not the only incident.
So, how should one deal with these type of issues?
First of all relax. There is no need to force food into a child.
The best way to consider how to deal with a situation like that is ask yourself how you would want to be treated yourself in that situation.
I know that I would prefer being respected. I would like it if I would be able to share my food with someone else or take part of it along for later. I would also like it that if I ordered something that I think is small, but turns out to be large that I could discuss this with my parents and see if we can find a solution together that does not incur throwing away food.
I personally also do not like to throw away food, so I can understand other parents having an issue with that. But be relaxed and creative and find solutions with your child that are respectful to the child. If need be, throw away part of it. Its less important than your child's physical and mental well-being.
Forcefeeding is consider abusive when done to animals (except for geese in France), but it seems fine when done to children.
I personally do not see any need in anything like that, its punishment, and for what? The sandwiches in the country of origin of this child are usually not large baguettes, usually they are more like English sandwiches, I am sure this is what the child had in mind. The country where they were on holiday obviously tends to serve baguettes. And there is quite a size difference in that.
A family is on holiday, father, mother, teenage son and teenage daughter. While being on holiday for 3 weeks on a nice camping there is a visit to a nearby historical town.
There they decided to have a drink in a nice restaurant. The daughter asks if she can also have a sandwich as she is also hungry. The parents agree. The daughter picks a sandwich that sounds good to her.
When they bring it, it is pretty large. The daughter seems to get distressed by the mere sight.
After eating it halfway, the daughter is full and cannot eat it any more and tells her mother that. The mother insists she eats it all as she has ordered it. The daughter continues eating.
So, what is wrong with this case.
Quite some things actually. It seems the "normal" way to go when parenting, but why? Would you do that to your partner? He or she is full, would you make him or her eat it, even though he or she basically cannot any more?
So why would you do it to your child? Out of the principle that one has to finish what one orders? Why would your child have to do that when your partner does not?
I am convinced that type of parenting is creating at least obesity and likely also eating disorders.
Just imagine the feeling of being full and then having to add about the same amount to that? Wouldn't you want to throw up? I can certainly see how a parenting style like that can create bulimia. Actually I am convinced that forcing children to finish their food, especially when they are already teenagers, and especially girls, where there is already quite an emphasise on looking good, will create that.
And who is to say that this teenage girl did not go to the loo afterwards to throw it all out again. It would certainly be relieving to her.
Another part of this picture that bothers me is another of one health. Overeating disrupts the digestive system. Its overloaded. An overloaded stomach cannot properly work with the food. One should never eat more than about 80%. And then this halfway worked on food ends up in the gut. Count your blessings.
The other thing that concerns me in this picture is the fact that there is no respect for the child. The child is full, that should be respected, nobody should be forced to eat or drink more than they can. This is simply mentally and emotionally unhealthy parenting. I cannot understand how parents can do this to their children.
It is emotionally also disrespectful to the child. This child, even though its a teenager, ended up eating the whole baguette (out of fear?), eventhough the child was full and already obese. What will this action of the mother tell the child. That its worthless, that her mother does not care about how she feels or her health or the way she looks?
To be honest from what I have learned about this family and their behaviour during the vacation it was quite clear that both the son and the daughter were not taken serious. Their emotions were not taken serious. This was not the only incident.
So, how should one deal with these type of issues?
First of all relax. There is no need to force food into a child.
The best way to consider how to deal with a situation like that is ask yourself how you would want to be treated yourself in that situation.
I know that I would prefer being respected. I would like it if I would be able to share my food with someone else or take part of it along for later. I would also like it that if I ordered something that I think is small, but turns out to be large that I could discuss this with my parents and see if we can find a solution together that does not incur throwing away food.
I personally also do not like to throw away food, so I can understand other parents having an issue with that. But be relaxed and creative and find solutions with your child that are respectful to the child. If need be, throw away part of it. Its less important than your child's physical and mental well-being.
Forcefeeding is consider abusive when done to animals (except for geese in France), but it seems fine when done to children.
I personally do not see any need in anything like that, its punishment, and for what? The sandwiches in the country of origin of this child are usually not large baguettes, usually they are more like English sandwiches, I am sure this is what the child had in mind. The country where they were on holiday obviously tends to serve baguettes. And there is quite a size difference in that.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Independent thinking
Today I had quite a few thoughts on how independent the majority of people really are. I noticed that the majority is actually following "the crowd" or "a guru" or "an expert". In general people do not read up on the research themselves.
This is something most people were taught as children. We were shown that adults were right, teachers were right, doctors were right, experts were right. We were taught not to question the people who were right. But were they always right?
I am teaching my children not to take my word of it, or anybody else's word for it. I want them to think for themselves. If the topic is not very easily thought through I want them do their own research and make up their own minds.
I offer them books and internet pages on the topic from different angles.
I myself dig through things that way as well.
One thing that recently came up in our family was veganism or vegetarianism. We know quite a few families who eat that way. The kids wanted to know why and whether it was in the best interest of the environment and whether it was possible to eat that way without jeopardizing their health.
So together we went on a search. I have my mind made up based on my reading, but it never hurts to dig through things again to see if I could change my mind on it.
There were some news books on the market on the topic, so we read them and discussed them.
We also found some interesting new research had been done.
Anyway after reading together, and also looking at traditional way tribal communities ate we came to a couple of conclusions:
1. We need animal foods to stay health, to have a normal dental arch, to have healthy teeth and bones. No indigenous community is without animal products in their diet. Some take mainly milk products, others take mainly meat products, some take milk, meat and blood products. We therefore think that vegetarianism might work for some people, but it requires very serious thought and very serious work.
2. An abundant supply of fruits and vegetables are not necessary for good health, as various tribal communities in Africa have shown. Those communities live (have lived) mainly on meat, milk products and blood and they are (were) very strong and healthy and have no dental caries.
3. Environmentally speaking its not helpful to only eat plant based foods. There is no use in it for the following reasons: plants need to be "fed" animal based foods, else they will not grow well. Pure compost from only plants will in the end exhaust the soil. There is quite a need for bone and blood meal, if you want to do it environmentally friendly. Though there is always artificial fertilizer which is made of fossil oils, we all know that is not the best of "foods" for our soil and plants. So nobody can really truly be a vegan, when you start looking at where the plant foods come from.
We found more reasons which make it clear that animal foods are really necessary for humans.
Another interesting one is dog food, most people buy the rubbish in the shop, but that is food that is plant based. The main component of commercial dog food is grains, then some vegetables and then to make it taste a bit some meat like bits. But when you look at what a wolf - the ancestor of a dog - eats, that has nothing to do with commercial dog food. A wolf eats raw meaty bones. A wolf does not cook its food, nor does it go out and eat grains or vegetables or fruit. A wolf may get a bit of predigested plant based foods from the stomach of his / her prey, but that is really where it ends. Oddly enough even VET's are often convinced that commercial dog food is better, but why then are so many dogs suffering from degenerative diseases? That would not happen if they were eating biologically appropriate food.
Its all propaganda.
Next on my list of thoughts is Gardasil.
People send their daughters to get vaccinated, but how many of these people are read the insert leaflet of Gardasil? How many people have followed the money trail to see who benefits? How many people have read up on the studies done with Gardasil? How many people actually really know that Gardasil was fast tracked through and there is no evidence at all it is safe?
But most will just be good sheep and simply follow the guidelines they have been told to follow and get their daughter that very dangerous shot.
And I personally have not found a vaccine yet that is safe and that is really doing what it promises to do.
Another one of those topics is birth. We are told that birth is painful. We all believe it and therefore are frightened and stressed beforehand and of course, then it does become painful. Stress hormones interfere with the birth process, that process needs a relaxed woman, under those circumstances dilation happens smooth and easy. But we are all told birth is dangerous so we "need" to be in a hospital. But a hospital is usually the place where people get stressed, as they are monitored and all has to go to the minute that is prescribed. Pity that the female body has not "read the book with the schedules" that are used by doctors.
So a lot of women simply end up with a C-section, purely because they are stressed out as they cannot think of birth as a pleasant experience or it being a normal human process that is in itself safe.
So what if a woman does know its safe and does know it can be pleasant.
Well.... then that woman would feel secure enough to stay home, where she feels comfortable and safe. That woman may have a midwife, if she feels like it, but if she doesn't, she has educated herself on the topic and knows what the variations of normal are and will act upon those.
The baby will not be drugged, nor will the mother and in most of the cases all will be smooth and painless (when you know its not supposed to hurt it won't), breastfeeding happens easy and mother recovers quickly.
In the other cases mother knows something is not completely right and gets herself some help quickly. Even in those cases a normal birth is in most cases still possible.
And then we get pregnancy. How many women know that pregnancy is a normal physical state of being for the female body. Very few, most feel they need medical assistence. That is a shame as with that you set yourself up for intervention which is really not necessary most of the time.
There has actually been a study done which shows that prenatal care does not change the outcome.
With knowing that, why bother with all the stress of prenatal (s)care.
And then to my last topic. Education.
Kids are really not taught to think for themselves. Its amazing that some people do end up being independent thinkers as that is really not what they are taught.
At university they start expecting you to be independent and do your work and studies and research. I have however seen that there are people who are completely incapable of doing so at that time. Their education has consisted of being kept busy and being told what to do. How on earth are you going to do stuff independently then.
Well... that is all for now.
This is something most people were taught as children. We were shown that adults were right, teachers were right, doctors were right, experts were right. We were taught not to question the people who were right. But were they always right?
I am teaching my children not to take my word of it, or anybody else's word for it. I want them to think for themselves. If the topic is not very easily thought through I want them do their own research and make up their own minds.
I offer them books and internet pages on the topic from different angles.
I myself dig through things that way as well.
One thing that recently came up in our family was veganism or vegetarianism. We know quite a few families who eat that way. The kids wanted to know why and whether it was in the best interest of the environment and whether it was possible to eat that way without jeopardizing their health.
So together we went on a search. I have my mind made up based on my reading, but it never hurts to dig through things again to see if I could change my mind on it.
There were some news books on the market on the topic, so we read them and discussed them.
We also found some interesting new research had been done.
Anyway after reading together, and also looking at traditional way tribal communities ate we came to a couple of conclusions:
1. We need animal foods to stay health, to have a normal dental arch, to have healthy teeth and bones. No indigenous community is without animal products in their diet. Some take mainly milk products, others take mainly meat products, some take milk, meat and blood products. We therefore think that vegetarianism might work for some people, but it requires very serious thought and very serious work.
2. An abundant supply of fruits and vegetables are not necessary for good health, as various tribal communities in Africa have shown. Those communities live (have lived) mainly on meat, milk products and blood and they are (were) very strong and healthy and have no dental caries.
3. Environmentally speaking its not helpful to only eat plant based foods. There is no use in it for the following reasons: plants need to be "fed" animal based foods, else they will not grow well. Pure compost from only plants will in the end exhaust the soil. There is quite a need for bone and blood meal, if you want to do it environmentally friendly. Though there is always artificial fertilizer which is made of fossil oils, we all know that is not the best of "foods" for our soil and plants. So nobody can really truly be a vegan, when you start looking at where the plant foods come from.
We found more reasons which make it clear that animal foods are really necessary for humans.
Another interesting one is dog food, most people buy the rubbish in the shop, but that is food that is plant based. The main component of commercial dog food is grains, then some vegetables and then to make it taste a bit some meat like bits. But when you look at what a wolf - the ancestor of a dog - eats, that has nothing to do with commercial dog food. A wolf eats raw meaty bones. A wolf does not cook its food, nor does it go out and eat grains or vegetables or fruit. A wolf may get a bit of predigested plant based foods from the stomach of his / her prey, but that is really where it ends. Oddly enough even VET's are often convinced that commercial dog food is better, but why then are so many dogs suffering from degenerative diseases? That would not happen if they were eating biologically appropriate food.
Its all propaganda.
Next on my list of thoughts is Gardasil.
People send their daughters to get vaccinated, but how many of these people are read the insert leaflet of Gardasil? How many people have followed the money trail to see who benefits? How many people have read up on the studies done with Gardasil? How many people actually really know that Gardasil was fast tracked through and there is no evidence at all it is safe?
But most will just be good sheep and simply follow the guidelines they have been told to follow and get their daughter that very dangerous shot.
And I personally have not found a vaccine yet that is safe and that is really doing what it promises to do.
Another one of those topics is birth. We are told that birth is painful. We all believe it and therefore are frightened and stressed beforehand and of course, then it does become painful. Stress hormones interfere with the birth process, that process needs a relaxed woman, under those circumstances dilation happens smooth and easy. But we are all told birth is dangerous so we "need" to be in a hospital. But a hospital is usually the place where people get stressed, as they are monitored and all has to go to the minute that is prescribed. Pity that the female body has not "read the book with the schedules" that are used by doctors.
So a lot of women simply end up with a C-section, purely because they are stressed out as they cannot think of birth as a pleasant experience or it being a normal human process that is in itself safe.
So what if a woman does know its safe and does know it can be pleasant.
Well.... then that woman would feel secure enough to stay home, where she feels comfortable and safe. That woman may have a midwife, if she feels like it, but if she doesn't, she has educated herself on the topic and knows what the variations of normal are and will act upon those.
The baby will not be drugged, nor will the mother and in most of the cases all will be smooth and painless (when you know its not supposed to hurt it won't), breastfeeding happens easy and mother recovers quickly.
In the other cases mother knows something is not completely right and gets herself some help quickly. Even in those cases a normal birth is in most cases still possible.
And then we get pregnancy. How many women know that pregnancy is a normal physical state of being for the female body. Very few, most feel they need medical assistence. That is a shame as with that you set yourself up for intervention which is really not necessary most of the time.
There has actually been a study done which shows that prenatal care does not change the outcome.
With knowing that, why bother with all the stress of prenatal (s)care.
And then to my last topic. Education.
Kids are really not taught to think for themselves. Its amazing that some people do end up being independent thinkers as that is really not what they are taught.
At university they start expecting you to be independent and do your work and studies and research. I have however seen that there are people who are completely incapable of doing so at that time. Their education has consisted of being kept busy and being told what to do. How on earth are you going to do stuff independently then.
Well... that is all for now.
Friday, 26 June 2009
education
So.... today I feel inspired. I need to write about education.
What is education and how does it happen.
Obviously not necessarily in a school setting or just on paper.
I find that a school education is inferior to a home education, the reason is that one on one education brings much more than education in a group setting where there is the same stuff educated by one person to a group of on average about 30 children. I do think that that will not bring the best of results.
We educate a group of 4ish children. Our youngest is 1 and is learning on her own, she does not need any help. Which is the way the majority of people let a 1 year old learn. Nothing wrong with that right? So why does it all of a sudden become wrong when they become 4, I find that amazing as a child learns more the first 4 years of their life, than ever after.
Now how does learning work you might wonder.
With having 4 children and the oldest being 14 I have seen from upclose how learning works.
Nor really on paper. Doing things makes it a lot more clear to kids.
Maths for instance is learned much quicker and faster in the real world. This involves shopping and cooking.
Biology, outside looking at the plants, going to the zoo, brings so much more than just pictures in a book.
Chemistry, love that, experiments, that really gives a clear picture :)
And then geography. There I have a wish, traveling the world, okay, not reasonable for us, so we just learn a lot from films and going outside checking out how the land has been used and what uses are for what, that is really working out superb, for lack of traveling the world :)
So what else do we have for things to do.
There are great projects to do with the kids once they express a certain interest in for instance a certain country. That is just totally cool.
What we love doing is picking a country and then working through it in various ways.
We go for the history and the present and th future, we discuss it and read about it, watch DVD's about it etc.
Then we go for the food from that country, make it, and eat it, not just the present food, but also the old stuff. F.i. the Roman food was really really good.
And then we check out the plants and animals from that particular country, that can be amazingly interesting, also the past if we can find it,as in some countries there have been animals going extinct. When possible we go look at those in a museum, or check out the alive ones in the zoo. A botanical garden is great for looking at the plants actually originating from that particular country.
What else is there, there is music of old and new from the country, the language, the perfumes, the scents of flowers, the religious of old and new, etc.
I am sure this gives a good picture of how I feel education works.
So what did we do with the Italy:
Latin (and we have continued as its a great language) and compare it to Italian and other langauges.
the food of then and now and ate it.
the animals of then and now
the religion of then and now including the etruscan
how the romans conquered europe, where they went.
the culture of then and now, including the etruscans
the contacts with the greeks and egyptians
we went to musea to see things
This is a similar way that young children learn, touch, feel and try, so why all of a sudden work only on boring paper, and take the fun out of learning.
Learning needs to be fun, as it needs to last a life time. When I look at kids in school its amazing how bored they are with learning. Most will not touch anything that has something to do with learning as soon as they are done with it. I find that sad and do not want that for my children.
I also do not want them to think that I have the ultimate wisdom, or a teacher has the ultimate wisdom. I want them to question me and things, so they learn. There are so many things that I learned in school as a child that really are not a given fact, but it was presented that way.
Even history, you'd expect that to be factual, but unfortunately with new research and different researchers with different thoughts and opinions plenty is really not a given fact.
Take for example the dark ages, those are taught in school as a given fact, but then there are researchers who have w written books with very good arguments that the dark ages have not happened, as in the dark ages there was no progress, this is not the way humans live. They argue that the dark ages were an invention by an emperor who wanted to base his right to the crown on ancestry, which wasn't there.
That kind of questioning is very important for children to learn to do, it keeps them inquisitive and curious.
I also do not believe in grades or rewards or so.
This does not bring a child an interest in the topic, but only in getting the reward or the grade, so they will not look into the topic in dept, just in fixing the score and then forgetting the lot again. Counterproductive I'd say.
Well folks, this is all for now, I take it you enjoyed the read :)
What is education and how does it happen.
Obviously not necessarily in a school setting or just on paper.
I find that a school education is inferior to a home education, the reason is that one on one education brings much more than education in a group setting where there is the same stuff educated by one person to a group of on average about 30 children. I do think that that will not bring the best of results.
We educate a group of 4ish children. Our youngest is 1 and is learning on her own, she does not need any help. Which is the way the majority of people let a 1 year old learn. Nothing wrong with that right? So why does it all of a sudden become wrong when they become 4, I find that amazing as a child learns more the first 4 years of their life, than ever after.
Now how does learning work you might wonder.
With having 4 children and the oldest being 14 I have seen from upclose how learning works.
Nor really on paper. Doing things makes it a lot more clear to kids.
Maths for instance is learned much quicker and faster in the real world. This involves shopping and cooking.
Biology, outside looking at the plants, going to the zoo, brings so much more than just pictures in a book.
Chemistry, love that, experiments, that really gives a clear picture :)
And then geography. There I have a wish, traveling the world, okay, not reasonable for us, so we just learn a lot from films and going outside checking out how the land has been used and what uses are for what, that is really working out superb, for lack of traveling the world :)
So what else do we have for things to do.
There are great projects to do with the kids once they express a certain interest in for instance a certain country. That is just totally cool.
What we love doing is picking a country and then working through it in various ways.
We go for the history and the present and th future, we discuss it and read about it, watch DVD's about it etc.
Then we go for the food from that country, make it, and eat it, not just the present food, but also the old stuff. F.i. the Roman food was really really good.
And then we check out the plants and animals from that particular country, that can be amazingly interesting, also the past if we can find it,as in some countries there have been animals going extinct. When possible we go look at those in a museum, or check out the alive ones in the zoo. A botanical garden is great for looking at the plants actually originating from that particular country.
What else is there, there is music of old and new from the country, the language, the perfumes, the scents of flowers, the religious of old and new, etc.
I am sure this gives a good picture of how I feel education works.
So what did we do with the Italy:
Latin (and we have continued as its a great language) and compare it to Italian and other langauges.
the food of then and now and ate it.
the animals of then and now
the religion of then and now including the etruscan
how the romans conquered europe, where they went.
the culture of then and now, including the etruscans
the contacts with the greeks and egyptians
we went to musea to see things
This is a similar way that young children learn, touch, feel and try, so why all of a sudden work only on boring paper, and take the fun out of learning.
Learning needs to be fun, as it needs to last a life time. When I look at kids in school its amazing how bored they are with learning. Most will not touch anything that has something to do with learning as soon as they are done with it. I find that sad and do not want that for my children.
I also do not want them to think that I have the ultimate wisdom, or a teacher has the ultimate wisdom. I want them to question me and things, so they learn. There are so many things that I learned in school as a child that really are not a given fact, but it was presented that way.
Even history, you'd expect that to be factual, but unfortunately with new research and different researchers with different thoughts and opinions plenty is really not a given fact.
Take for example the dark ages, those are taught in school as a given fact, but then there are researchers who have w written books with very good arguments that the dark ages have not happened, as in the dark ages there was no progress, this is not the way humans live. They argue that the dark ages were an invention by an emperor who wanted to base his right to the crown on ancestry, which wasn't there.
That kind of questioning is very important for children to learn to do, it keeps them inquisitive and curious.
I also do not believe in grades or rewards or so.
This does not bring a child an interest in the topic, but only in getting the reward or the grade, so they will not look into the topic in dept, just in fixing the score and then forgetting the lot again. Counterproductive I'd say.
Well folks, this is all for now, I take it you enjoyed the read :)
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
7 secrets for a happy child.
I liked reading the text in the following link.
http://zenhabits.net/2009/06/7-secrets-to-raising-a-happy-child/
Have a read, its interesting.
http://zenhabits.net/2009/06/7-secrets-to-raising-a-happy-child/
Have a read, its interesting.
Saturday, 7 March 2009
Quote by Dr. Mendelsohn
Because routine immunizations that bring parents back for repeated office calls are the bread and butter of their specialty, pediatricians continue to defend them to the death. The question parents should be asking is: ‘Whose death?’” -----Robert Mendelsohn, MD
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Dog health
Today we were watching tv. We saw how a dog had bone problems and because of that they were going to cut the nerves, so that it wouldn't have pain anymore, sounds quite nice doesn't it.
But then I was thinking, since our dog doesn't eat kibble (processed foods!) anymore she has become much healthier, is like a puppy again, is totally fit, has more energy than the average 3yo dog. Her bone structure became much better etc.
So why isn't there a vet recommending a change of diet.
Next piece was about a dog which had lots of teeth and gum problems. They were polishing and cleaning and burning way fleshy area's.
Funny, since our dog is on the Raw Meaty Bones or the BARF or the evolutionary correct diet, which ever you want to call it, she doesn't have any gum or teeth problems anymore, all is clean and strong.
Hmmmm.... why is there no vet recommending that then.
Hardly any vet I've found out. The vet here actually came with the comment that our dog was overweight, yeah a bit, in winter, always. Doesn't bother me. It goes away in spring, she obviously needs a bit of keeping warm layer, who cares.
So the vet comes up with the luminous idea that we have to change her diet as she will be getting way way way way too much protein when she is fed meat daily..... :???: meat daily - we said raw meaty bones daily, which is pretty different. Tried to explain this to the guy and the vet woman working with him. Didn't hit base. So we just nodded and let it slide, not worth the effort.
And then with all this on tv and this vet telling us to change to a 4th best diet I got thinking bad thoughts. What if those people are all doing this just so they keep filling their pockets. Maybe a lot of medicos don't even know it anymore, but I am quite sure that with all the diet recommendations for animals and humans which are - to my opinion - all wrong, there are quite some people nicely filling their pockets who would have to look for another job otherwise.
But then I was thinking, since our dog doesn't eat kibble (processed foods!) anymore she has become much healthier, is like a puppy again, is totally fit, has more energy than the average 3yo dog. Her bone structure became much better etc.
So why isn't there a vet recommending a change of diet.
Next piece was about a dog which had lots of teeth and gum problems. They were polishing and cleaning and burning way fleshy area's.
Funny, since our dog is on the Raw Meaty Bones or the BARF or the evolutionary correct diet, which ever you want to call it, she doesn't have any gum or teeth problems anymore, all is clean and strong.
Hmmmm.... why is there no vet recommending that then.
Hardly any vet I've found out. The vet here actually came with the comment that our dog was overweight, yeah a bit, in winter, always. Doesn't bother me. It goes away in spring, she obviously needs a bit of keeping warm layer, who cares.
So the vet comes up with the luminous idea that we have to change her diet as she will be getting way way way way too much protein when she is fed meat daily..... :???: meat daily - we said raw meaty bones daily, which is pretty different. Tried to explain this to the guy and the vet woman working with him. Didn't hit base. So we just nodded and let it slide, not worth the effort.
And then with all this on tv and this vet telling us to change to a 4th best diet I got thinking bad thoughts. What if those people are all doing this just so they keep filling their pockets. Maybe a lot of medicos don't even know it anymore, but I am quite sure that with all the diet recommendations for animals and humans which are - to my opinion - all wrong, there are quite some people nicely filling their pockets who would have to look for another job otherwise.
Friday, 30 January 2009
dental health
So my 5yo has a few cavities in her milk teeth. That was quite a shocker for me, as she has brushed her teeth daily, we make sure that we eat healthy. Obviously not healthy enough. She did have the odd bit of white flour product and sugar when we visited friends or family or when she was playing at another childs house. I had figured it wouldn't be that bad. Obviously it was.
So then the dentist comes with the luminous idea to drill and fill. With 1 it worked out. With the next it did't. My daughter was scared and didn't want to co-operate. Obviously the first time had been difficult on her.
The dentist wanted to refer us to a specialist dentist who would do it with anaesthesia. Somehow that just didn't sound right. There had to be a better way.
Besides the whole drilling and filling thing left a bad taste in my mouth.
And then my brain went onto the rollercoaster of thinking. How could it be that our teeth, the ones we depend on our whole life, go down the drain that fast and how come so many people are dependent on replacements, especially when so many people brush daily and do all they have been told.
It didn't make sense. There had to be more to it.
And there was.
After a nice search in information online and offline I found what was "the more to it".
The human diet has changed dramatically over the last 100 plus years. We have lots and lots and lots of processed foods, lots of junk food. Just immense amount of dead food.
And the it seriously hit me. How can food that is totally devoid of nutritients help you keep your body healthy and how can it help a 5-yo grow???
Obviously that is not going to work very well.
So after I have already been into thinking the WAPF way of nutrition I realized that we had gone downhill in our nutrition the weeks before our move. We had speed meals in stead of slow meals, which contain much more nutrients.
Other than that she had had a massive growth spurt, which means she needed even more nutritients, which we basically weren't using.
So then my thinking got me to realize that when the body is growing the building blocks have to come from somewhere and that would be the bones and the teeth.
And then it also hit me that this can be healed, contrary to popular belief.
Nothing in our body is dead, and our body's are very well capable or repairing, our bones can repair, so why not our teeth.
Well... also our teeth can heal. So I got myself a nice little book which explains it all and also explains in lots of detail which foods take nutritients out of your body and which foods give you a nice amount of it.
So we are going to use that now to build up the body's of our little ones to make sure they are healthy.
Will be interesting with family visits with loads of cookies, crips, syrups and all that stuff, as we won't be doing that anymore :-)
So then the dentist comes with the luminous idea to drill and fill. With 1 it worked out. With the next it did't. My daughter was scared and didn't want to co-operate. Obviously the first time had been difficult on her.
The dentist wanted to refer us to a specialist dentist who would do it with anaesthesia. Somehow that just didn't sound right. There had to be a better way.
Besides the whole drilling and filling thing left a bad taste in my mouth.
And then my brain went onto the rollercoaster of thinking. How could it be that our teeth, the ones we depend on our whole life, go down the drain that fast and how come so many people are dependent on replacements, especially when so many people brush daily and do all they have been told.
It didn't make sense. There had to be more to it.
And there was.
After a nice search in information online and offline I found what was "the more to it".
The human diet has changed dramatically over the last 100 plus years. We have lots and lots and lots of processed foods, lots of junk food. Just immense amount of dead food.
And the it seriously hit me. How can food that is totally devoid of nutritients help you keep your body healthy and how can it help a 5-yo grow???
Obviously that is not going to work very well.
So after I have already been into thinking the WAPF way of nutrition I realized that we had gone downhill in our nutrition the weeks before our move. We had speed meals in stead of slow meals, which contain much more nutrients.
Other than that she had had a massive growth spurt, which means she needed even more nutritients, which we basically weren't using.
So then my thinking got me to realize that when the body is growing the building blocks have to come from somewhere and that would be the bones and the teeth.
And then it also hit me that this can be healed, contrary to popular belief.
Nothing in our body is dead, and our body's are very well capable or repairing, our bones can repair, so why not our teeth.
Well... also our teeth can heal. So I got myself a nice little book which explains it all and also explains in lots of detail which foods take nutritients out of your body and which foods give you a nice amount of it.
So we are going to use that now to build up the body's of our little ones to make sure they are healthy.
Will be interesting with family visits with loads of cookies, crips, syrups and all that stuff, as we won't be doing that anymore :-)
Monday, 19 January 2009
co-sleeping success
My dear partner slept in a cot in his own room without any attention at night, screaming or not, from birth. So when he and I spent the odd weekend together he had problems sleeping that one Saturday night because I was there right next to him in a king size bed. He wasn't used to it. Then slowly but carefully he did get used to it. After a while he was able to have our bodies touch while we were sleeping there, which I really enjoyed.
A while after that I got unplanned pregnant. So I discussed the family bed with him, as I had done the family bed with my older 2 children. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to sleep again until the baby would leave our bed. I told him that he got used to co-sleeping with me, so he probably would be able to get used to having a baby with us. At first our baby didn't move much after she was born, so he had no problems, but as she grew older and managed to move around more he did get the odd night that he had trouble sleeping, but he did enjoy having her next to him. He didn't see her 5 days a week so he needed the nights to bond, so he persevered. He loved having her around and managed to relax and sleep. Not always all night, but who does.
After 4 years with her alone in our bed I was pregnant again and of course our new baby would sleep with us. This got my partner a bit anxious as he didn't know how 4 would fit in the bed. I told him to relax, we would see how things would work. Time would tell. Time did tell. Initially our youngest was at the side of the bed, but the she got more active and my partner noticed his bond with our 4yo was stronger than with our youngest, so we switched, our 4yo went to the side of our bed next to me and the baby in the middle. Later on the baby was nearly a year she was big enough to be next to her big sister and now the both of the are "in the middle". Sometimes almost pushing me out of the bed, sometimes almost pushing my partner out of the bed.
I think this is quite a success story on co-sleeping. My partner had to learn to co-sleep and he succeeded very well. Its done him good the physical contact with me and our girls.
A while after that I got unplanned pregnant. So I discussed the family bed with him, as I had done the family bed with my older 2 children. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to sleep again until the baby would leave our bed. I told him that he got used to co-sleeping with me, so he probably would be able to get used to having a baby with us. At first our baby didn't move much after she was born, so he had no problems, but as she grew older and managed to move around more he did get the odd night that he had trouble sleeping, but he did enjoy having her next to him. He didn't see her 5 days a week so he needed the nights to bond, so he persevered. He loved having her around and managed to relax and sleep. Not always all night, but who does.
After 4 years with her alone in our bed I was pregnant again and of course our new baby would sleep with us. This got my partner a bit anxious as he didn't know how 4 would fit in the bed. I told him to relax, we would see how things would work. Time would tell. Time did tell. Initially our youngest was at the side of the bed, but the she got more active and my partner noticed his bond with our 4yo was stronger than with our youngest, so we switched, our 4yo went to the side of our bed next to me and the baby in the middle. Later on the baby was nearly a year she was big enough to be next to her big sister and now the both of the are "in the middle". Sometimes almost pushing me out of the bed, sometimes almost pushing my partner out of the bed.
I think this is quite a success story on co-sleeping. My partner had to learn to co-sleep and he succeeded very well. Its done him good the physical contact with me and our girls.
Fast food, why is it soooo irresistable
I have wondered about that time and again. Somehow it keeps being an attraction, though we know its not good. One of the reasons why its so bad is that the fries are fried in vegetable oil, which no doubt contains a lot of soy oil, which is really really unhealthy.
So I ran into this, through a friends blog and it all makes a lot more sense now :-(
Have a read: McDonalds fries
So I ran into this, through a friends blog and it all makes a lot more sense now :-(
Have a read: McDonalds fries
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Thoughts on fat and obesity by Jess Boulette Frazier
We are told that we are getting fatter in this society because we eat a high fat diet. But the truth is that we do not eat a diet that is necessarily higher in fat than what was eaten 100 years ago (and beyond). In fact, low-fat and non-fat products (especially dairy products) are promoted heavily in our society and many people eat these products. Conversely, 100+ years ago, people were drinking whole milk, eating real butter, using cream in their porridges, valuing eggs for their life-giving properties, relishing the fat from meats, etc.
When you look at diets from about 100 years ago, the big difference that you do see is that we eat a lot more refined sugar (and products that contain them) and a lot more refined processed grain products. We eat refined sliced breads, crackers, cookies, breakfast cereals, refined pastas and rices, etc. In fact, the bulk of most peoples' diets are such refined and processed simple starch grain products.
Refined grains cause our blood sugar to be imbalanced, and they affect the hormones that cause you to feel full after eating. As a consequence, we eat these foods and still feel hungry, so we eat more and more of these nutrient-devoid foods, more and more empty calories. And this is a big part of why we are getting fat.
When you limit fat, your body wants to horde that fat. So if you are limiting fat and eating lots of starchy carbs instead, your body will hang on to the fat and gladly use the carbs as fuel instead. If you eat fat regularly, your body will not be in "starvation mode", and consequently eating more fat will actually help you burn more fat. If you look at primitive societies you will see that they valued animal fats for health and survival. They freely ate full-fat dairy products, animals fats, and organ meats as well as whatever plant fats they could find. They knew they needed fat to live, and since they were not eating an abundance of refined starches, their bodies used the fat as fuel during their daily activities, and hence their bodyfat was regulated and kept in balance. They had the amount of bodyfat they needed for health and survival and optimal functioning, without storing an unhealthy excess.
Eating fat, such as full-fat dairy products, also makes us feel more full and helps us reduce our cravings for refined starchy grain products. In addition, if you do eat whole grain products, eating healthy fats (such as full-fat minimally processed butter and cream) along with the grains actually helps you digest, absorb, and utilize the vitamins and minerals in the whole grain products. Dairy products and other animal fat products contain fat-soluble vitamins, which are necessary for the absorption and utilization of the minerals and water-soluble vitamins found in grains, vegetables, and meat. When our ancestors ate their porridge with cream, and their bread with butter, they probably weren't just doing it to make it taste better! Without these fats we are not getting the most out of the other foods in our diet, leaving us in a constant state of nutrient starvation.
When we consider these facts, it becomes abundantly clear that it is not fat per se that is making us fat. It is processed and refined sugars and starchy grains.
A simple comparison of today's typical diet (and products available on grocery store shelves) with that of 100 years ago will clearly show that the most dramatic difference in diet is the greatly increased consumption of processed, refined, prepackaged grain products (often laden with refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup), and the simultaneous decrease in the consumption of healthy fats. This fact alone should lead us to look at these sugary nutrient-devoid grains as one of the main culprits of our obesity problems.
[As a personal testament of sorts, I have lost 20 lbs. (and maintained that loss) just by switching from low-fat dairy products to whole organic (preferably non-homogenized) milk, butter from grass-fed cows, and whole cream-top yogurt. I have also incorporated extra virgin coconut oil (a healthy tropical fat) into my cooking whenever possible. My consumption of refined grain products has not changed much, though that is one of my major dietary goals, and I still lead a life that is much too sedentary. I am just astonished that increasing my intake of healthy fats alone has had such an effect on me.]
When you look at diets from about 100 years ago, the big difference that you do see is that we eat a lot more refined sugar (and products that contain them) and a lot more refined processed grain products. We eat refined sliced breads, crackers, cookies, breakfast cereals, refined pastas and rices, etc. In fact, the bulk of most peoples' diets are such refined and processed simple starch grain products.
Refined grains cause our blood sugar to be imbalanced, and they affect the hormones that cause you to feel full after eating. As a consequence, we eat these foods and still feel hungry, so we eat more and more of these nutrient-devoid foods, more and more empty calories. And this is a big part of why we are getting fat.
When you limit fat, your body wants to horde that fat. So if you are limiting fat and eating lots of starchy carbs instead, your body will hang on to the fat and gladly use the carbs as fuel instead. If you eat fat regularly, your body will not be in "starvation mode", and consequently eating more fat will actually help you burn more fat. If you look at primitive societies you will see that they valued animal fats for health and survival. They freely ate full-fat dairy products, animals fats, and organ meats as well as whatever plant fats they could find. They knew they needed fat to live, and since they were not eating an abundance of refined starches, their bodies used the fat as fuel during their daily activities, and hence their bodyfat was regulated and kept in balance. They had the amount of bodyfat they needed for health and survival and optimal functioning, without storing an unhealthy excess.
Eating fat, such as full-fat dairy products, also makes us feel more full and helps us reduce our cravings for refined starchy grain products. In addition, if you do eat whole grain products, eating healthy fats (such as full-fat minimally processed butter and cream) along with the grains actually helps you digest, absorb, and utilize the vitamins and minerals in the whole grain products. Dairy products and other animal fat products contain fat-soluble vitamins, which are necessary for the absorption and utilization of the minerals and water-soluble vitamins found in grains, vegetables, and meat. When our ancestors ate their porridge with cream, and their bread with butter, they probably weren't just doing it to make it taste better! Without these fats we are not getting the most out of the other foods in our diet, leaving us in a constant state of nutrient starvation.
When we consider these facts, it becomes abundantly clear that it is not fat per se that is making us fat. It is processed and refined sugars and starchy grains.
A simple comparison of today's typical diet (and products available on grocery store shelves) with that of 100 years ago will clearly show that the most dramatic difference in diet is the greatly increased consumption of processed, refined, prepackaged grain products (often laden with refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup), and the simultaneous decrease in the consumption of healthy fats. This fact alone should lead us to look at these sugary nutrient-devoid grains as one of the main culprits of our obesity problems.
[As a personal testament of sorts, I have lost 20 lbs. (and maintained that loss) just by switching from low-fat dairy products to whole organic (preferably non-homogenized) milk, butter from grass-fed cows, and whole cream-top yogurt. I have also incorporated extra virgin coconut oil (a healthy tropical fat) into my cooking whenever possible. My consumption of refined grain products has not changed much, though that is one of my major dietary goals, and I still lead a life that is much too sedentary. I am just astonished that increasing my intake of healthy fats alone has had such an effect on me.]
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Super quote
Today I read a really wonderful quote.
I couldn't agree more.
"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM*? And it goes on and on..." - Carla Hartley
I couldn't agree more.
"I trust birth—not birth attendants—for if you only trust birth that is attended then you really don't trust birth at all. You trust the attendant. And then you start over. Who? Doctor, surgeon, CNM, CPM, SIM*? And it goes on and on..." - Carla Hartley
Monday, 24 November 2008
First-time mothers who have unassisted deliveries fare better than those who have c-sections or assisted vaginal deliveries
I have known this for years already, but I figured others may need to be informed about it.
Have a read, its very interesting.
http://www.ahrq.gov/research/jan02/0102RA2.htm
The article is already from 2001, unfortunately nothing has changed so far :-(
Have a read, its very interesting.
http://www.ahrq.gov/research/jan02/0102RA2.htm
The article is already from 2001, unfortunately nothing has changed so far :-(
Dessert first :-)
Recently someone told me that letting a child eat dessert first will promote obesity and unhealthy eating habits, but that highly depends on what dessert consists of doesn't it 
Our desserts are usually yoghurt or fruit or so. With that I really do not think there is any problem when fruit or yoghurt are eaten first, or even only the dessert.
Furthermore I do remember that as a child I had to first finish my main course before I could eat dessert, result I never ate dessert, because by then I was totally stuffed. I won't do that to my kids. They eat what is available and pick from it.
And as I do not make any fuzz over what they eat, they eat a bit of everything in general as there is no pressure at all on which food is eaten first or last or just. I do not expect them to eat anything they do not like either.
What I think the main thing is, is that dinner is fun, making it and eating it. There should be no stress at the dining table, because that doesn't make anyone feel any better or eat any better.
Our desserts are usually yoghurt or fruit or so. With that I really do not think there is any problem when fruit or yoghurt are eaten first, or even only the dessert.
Furthermore I do remember that as a child I had to first finish my main course before I could eat dessert, result I never ate dessert, because by then I was totally stuffed. I won't do that to my kids. They eat what is available and pick from it.
And as I do not make any fuzz over what they eat, they eat a bit of everything in general as there is no pressure at all on which food is eaten first or last or just. I do not expect them to eat anything they do not like either.
What I think the main thing is, is that dinner is fun, making it and eating it. There should be no stress at the dining table, because that doesn't make anyone feel any better or eat any better.
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Child abuse
The last few days I have read article after article about seriously bad child abuse.
The little baby boy of 17 months old that must have had a 17 month hell of torture, his back was broken, 8 ribs broken, fingertips cut off, nails missing. And nobody noticed anything? It could just go on?
The child had been in the hospital, with the doctor, everything.
The a 21 year old mother who has probably murdered her own baby and toddler. Details still have to come out.
Then in the US a child beaten to death because it wet its bed?
And then the Fritzl case.
It makes me think again. I have read enough books of Alice Miller to know that these people doing it to their own children were abused themselves. I am fairly sure that the mother of the 17 month old baby unconciously wanted help, because she did visit medical professionals, who in my mind were negligent.
They should have picked up on it and helped both mother and baby adequately. Mother needed psychological help to deal with her own childhood trauma, because the state she was in now was obviously lethal to her own child.
But obviously those professionals were too damaged themselves to be able to pick up on it.
Then the mother who killed her own children, same thing, she obviously was too traumatized to handle it all.
Beating a child to death for wetting its bed. I wonder how those parents were treated as children.
And then Mr. Fritzl, well in the meantime I have read enough about his childhood to know that he had a rotten one and turned out to be the tyrant he is because of that.
What makes me so immensely sick with this all is that in our western civilization we keep excusing people and locking people up who do stuff like that. Only a few people really want to make sure this stops with informing people on what the reasons are for people going down that horrible road, but those are often enough not heard, as the majority of people do NOT WANT to hear it. They do not want to know that their own parents screwed up badly or that they themselves are screwing up as well as parents and are breeding violence with their parenting styles.
Of course we all have to hide that behind the stupid theories of how children are second class citizens and have to be disciplined and all that other crap.
We can do to children that cannot be done to adults because its against human rights.
What makes a parent have the right to smack a child, when its assault when you smack another adult and you could be jailed for that? Why not when you smack a child?
How did we come so crazy that those things can happen to such sensitive young people, who are still learning from us and need to learn what is right, not what is wrong. We should sherish these little human beings as they are still so open to influences etc.
It makes me want to scream it out loud to everybody who does something like that. There are so many examples in history of what can happen with the normally accepted parenting style, but its soooo wrong.
But, no I don't, I only talk to people who do want to hear it, because its "not done" to tell other people that they are parenting their children in an abusive way.
I keep seeing it happen around me and it makes me really really sad.
The little baby boy of 17 months old that must have had a 17 month hell of torture, his back was broken, 8 ribs broken, fingertips cut off, nails missing. And nobody noticed anything? It could just go on?
The child had been in the hospital, with the doctor, everything.
The a 21 year old mother who has probably murdered her own baby and toddler. Details still have to come out.
Then in the US a child beaten to death because it wet its bed?
And then the Fritzl case.
It makes me think again. I have read enough books of Alice Miller to know that these people doing it to their own children were abused themselves. I am fairly sure that the mother of the 17 month old baby unconciously wanted help, because she did visit medical professionals, who in my mind were negligent.
They should have picked up on it and helped both mother and baby adequately. Mother needed psychological help to deal with her own childhood trauma, because the state she was in now was obviously lethal to her own child.
But obviously those professionals were too damaged themselves to be able to pick up on it.
Then the mother who killed her own children, same thing, she obviously was too traumatized to handle it all.
Beating a child to death for wetting its bed. I wonder how those parents were treated as children.
And then Mr. Fritzl, well in the meantime I have read enough about his childhood to know that he had a rotten one and turned out to be the tyrant he is because of that.
What makes me so immensely sick with this all is that in our western civilization we keep excusing people and locking people up who do stuff like that. Only a few people really want to make sure this stops with informing people on what the reasons are for people going down that horrible road, but those are often enough not heard, as the majority of people do NOT WANT to hear it. They do not want to know that their own parents screwed up badly or that they themselves are screwing up as well as parents and are breeding violence with their parenting styles.
Of course we all have to hide that behind the stupid theories of how children are second class citizens and have to be disciplined and all that other crap.
We can do to children that cannot be done to adults because its against human rights.
What makes a parent have the right to smack a child, when its assault when you smack another adult and you could be jailed for that? Why not when you smack a child?
How did we come so crazy that those things can happen to such sensitive young people, who are still learning from us and need to learn what is right, not what is wrong. We should sherish these little human beings as they are still so open to influences etc.
It makes me want to scream it out loud to everybody who does something like that. There are so many examples in history of what can happen with the normally accepted parenting style, but its soooo wrong.
But, no I don't, I only talk to people who do want to hear it, because its "not done" to tell other people that they are parenting their children in an abusive way.
I keep seeing it happen around me and it makes me really really sad.
Monday, 10 November 2008
Positive reinforcement
What is the use? Or is there a use?
As studies have shown positive reinforcement is, like praise, rewards and other stuff like that an external motivator and with that not giving the child much intrinsic motivation, which is in general the best motivator a person can have. Intrinsic motivation will keep a person doing what they do (learning) and trying to become better at it. When there is praise, grades or whatever used, the child will work for the praise, grade or whatever, but not for the fun of it learning. What you can see is when a child is interested in something they will keep at it and learn more and just dig into it.
When a child is getting praise, they will not go for the topic, but for the praise and with that the topic becomes uninteresting.
Children love please their parents and teachers, therefore they will do what is necessary to please them, i.e. get a good grade, but do they remember anything from what they learned afterwards?
I do remember getting great grades for things, but don't remember much of what I learned in school in order to get those grades. I do remember being totally fascinated about a topic, which was not taught in school, so I went to the library and dug and dug, I was 12 and still remember the photographs.
Okay, I know.... this sounds like only unschooling is good. I wont say that, coz some kids love it in school so there is no need to meddle with that. But make sure that the children know that its not about the grades, that you as a parent are not interested in the grades, but in what they learned. You can do that by ignoring good and bad grades, but asking about what they learned and what they liked about it and all that stuff. Just by showing interest.
And this goes for other parts of parenting as well. Why would it be a good job if yr child makes a drawing, its not necessarily a good job. It can also be a crappy scribble job, but there is no need to say good or bad. Just say that you see scribbles in red and blue. Ask about the feelings or motivation that made your child make that drawing.
When I go to the playground I heard a load of "Well done" 's all the time for nothing.
When a child goes into a playground, what is the use in saying "Well done" when they go on the swing and swing. Isn't that normal for a child to want to do and have fun?
Or climb into a climbing rack? Isn't that just fun and stuff?
As studies have shown positive reinforcement is, like praise, rewards and other stuff like that an external motivator and with that not giving the child much intrinsic motivation, which is in general the best motivator a person can have. Intrinsic motivation will keep a person doing what they do (learning) and trying to become better at it. When there is praise, grades or whatever used, the child will work for the praise, grade or whatever, but not for the fun of it learning. What you can see is when a child is interested in something they will keep at it and learn more and just dig into it.
When a child is getting praise, they will not go for the topic, but for the praise and with that the topic becomes uninteresting.
Children love please their parents and teachers, therefore they will do what is necessary to please them, i.e. get a good grade, but do they remember anything from what they learned afterwards?
I do remember getting great grades for things, but don't remember much of what I learned in school in order to get those grades. I do remember being totally fascinated about a topic, which was not taught in school, so I went to the library and dug and dug, I was 12 and still remember the photographs.
Okay, I know.... this sounds like only unschooling is good. I wont say that, coz some kids love it in school so there is no need to meddle with that. But make sure that the children know that its not about the grades, that you as a parent are not interested in the grades, but in what they learned. You can do that by ignoring good and bad grades, but asking about what they learned and what they liked about it and all that stuff. Just by showing interest.
And this goes for other parts of parenting as well. Why would it be a good job if yr child makes a drawing, its not necessarily a good job. It can also be a crappy scribble job, but there is no need to say good or bad. Just say that you see scribbles in red and blue. Ask about the feelings or motivation that made your child make that drawing.
When I go to the playground I heard a load of "Well done" 's all the time for nothing.
When a child goes into a playground, what is the use in saying "Well done" when they go on the swing and swing. Isn't that normal for a child to want to do and have fun?
Or climb into a climbing rack? Isn't that just fun and stuff?
Hitting
Recently there was a thread on one of the forums I participate in. There were questions on how to handle hitting of a child that was not even 1 year old yet.
This was my reply:
Infants and young children basically have no clue what the consequences are from their actions. They have no clue when they hurt you or not.
So its the parents job to let the child know when things hurt, whether they hurt the parent or another child or a pet. But as humans have much more complex brains as animals its obviously not as simple as to train a dog into certain behaviour. Even though with my dog I am sensitive and look at her cues whether she even gets the point - but that is an entirely different topic
So how can we do this with little humans with complicated brains. First of all think of how you would want to be treated in case you ended up in a culture where you had no clue what they were saying and they had totally different idea's on what's normal and what not.
Young children / infants don't fully understand every word we say, but they are on a level of understanding emotions and sounds. Therefore show them it hurts and use the right words and sounds with it. Also explain how it can be done differently and what you would like her to do. Just keep talking, showing and redirecting. Its not going to happen overnight, but it will happen.
Simply keep respecting your child as a fellow human being and not put them on a secondary place, which is unfortunately quite common in the western world.
Example: My 9 mos old has no clue when she hurts the dog by pulling the dogs hair. So I stay with her when she is within reach of the dog, often she goes there. Both the dog (10y) and I are very patient with her. The dog usually keeps laying there - when I am not around she disappears - and when she grabs a hand full of hair I gently loosen her hand and tell her that that will hurt the dog and show her that the dog loves being stroked.
Slowly but carefully her grip has become less hard on the dogs hair.
She also head butts us, pretty normal for young children. My partner sometimes has a hard time handling it because it can really really hurt, so he hands her to me, while he regroups himself, but we keep being gentle with her.I have also handed her to him at times. And then we simply explain to her that it really really hurts.
Another thing to realize with things like pulling hair is that the hair grabbing is a rudimentary left-over from our evolution (no offence meant to the creationists here). In those times our babies had to hold on to us on our furs, like with the apes. Therefore they still keep grabbing our hair, but as we don't have a lot of body hair left its usually our heads and some kids also hold on to the ears or nose, not to hurt, simply to feel safe.
So, back to the topic hitting. It is al right to not feel happy about it. The trick is to handle it gently and keep repeating and redirecting.
You may have to repeat it a LOT of times, she is still a baby you know.
Basically in my whole parenting thoughts I start with how I would like to be treated if I didn't get that and with that I realize that a lot of parenting ideas out there, are in my view mistreatment as its not very respectful to the child.
Other than that, I think, that basically you don't really have to do anything more than say OUCH or what ever, coz sooner or later they will get the point that OUCH means that you really don't like it and somewhat older children hate doing things that are not right, they really want to be part of the group / family they live in and really do not want to be odd. So just simply by not hitting your partner and letting her know you don't like it it will stop, but it could last a bit.
This was my reply:
Infants and young children basically have no clue what the consequences are from their actions. They have no clue when they hurt you or not.
So its the parents job to let the child know when things hurt, whether they hurt the parent or another child or a pet. But as humans have much more complex brains as animals its obviously not as simple as to train a dog into certain behaviour. Even though with my dog I am sensitive and look at her cues whether she even gets the point - but that is an entirely different topic
So how can we do this with little humans with complicated brains. First of all think of how you would want to be treated in case you ended up in a culture where you had no clue what they were saying and they had totally different idea's on what's normal and what not.
Young children / infants don't fully understand every word we say, but they are on a level of understanding emotions and sounds. Therefore show them it hurts and use the right words and sounds with it. Also explain how it can be done differently and what you would like her to do. Just keep talking, showing and redirecting. Its not going to happen overnight, but it will happen.
Simply keep respecting your child as a fellow human being and not put them on a secondary place, which is unfortunately quite common in the western world.
Example: My 9 mos old has no clue when she hurts the dog by pulling the dogs hair. So I stay with her when she is within reach of the dog, often she goes there. Both the dog (10y) and I are very patient with her. The dog usually keeps laying there - when I am not around she disappears - and when she grabs a hand full of hair I gently loosen her hand and tell her that that will hurt the dog and show her that the dog loves being stroked.
Slowly but carefully her grip has become less hard on the dogs hair.
She also head butts us, pretty normal for young children. My partner sometimes has a hard time handling it because it can really really hurt, so he hands her to me, while he regroups himself, but we keep being gentle with her.I have also handed her to him at times. And then we simply explain to her that it really really hurts.
Another thing to realize with things like pulling hair is that the hair grabbing is a rudimentary left-over from our evolution (no offence meant to the creationists here). In those times our babies had to hold on to us on our furs, like with the apes. Therefore they still keep grabbing our hair, but as we don't have a lot of body hair left its usually our heads and some kids also hold on to the ears or nose, not to hurt, simply to feel safe.
So, back to the topic hitting. It is al right to not feel happy about it. The trick is to handle it gently and keep repeating and redirecting.
You may have to repeat it a LOT of times, she is still a baby you know.
Basically in my whole parenting thoughts I start with how I would like to be treated if I didn't get that and with that I realize that a lot of parenting ideas out there, are in my view mistreatment as its not very respectful to the child.
Other than that, I think, that basically you don't really have to do anything more than say OUCH or what ever, coz sooner or later they will get the point that OUCH means that you really don't like it and somewhat older children hate doing things that are not right, they really want to be part of the group / family they live in and really do not want to be odd. So just simply by not hitting your partner and letting her know you don't like it it will stop, but it could last a bit.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
My grandson...
.... is one year old now and needs to go to a daycare centre now because he needs to be socialized, he is old enough now.
Ugh..... has he been living alone then since birth? No social contacts at all?
Those type of comments always make me wonder how people think. Why would a child have to be put in an environment they are not used to in order to socialize? Don't they have parents to socialize with, no siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc.?
How about the people in the neighbourhood?
Why put a child into an artificial environment like day care or school with children of the same age group when real life doesn't do that. You don't learn socializing with older people or younger people that way, or just dealing with normal life situations.
I keep being surprised about those odd comments.
Ugh..... has he been living alone then since birth? No social contacts at all?
Those type of comments always make me wonder how people think. Why would a child have to be put in an environment they are not used to in order to socialize? Don't they have parents to socialize with, no siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc.?
How about the people in the neighbourhood?
Why put a child into an artificial environment like day care or school with children of the same age group when real life doesn't do that. You don't learn socializing with older people or younger people that way, or just dealing with normal life situations.
I keep being surprised about those odd comments.
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Quick soup recipes
Today I read about a tomato soup recipe that was quick and healthy. So I followed the link and indeed a great healthy recipe.
Here it is : Quick creamy tomato soup
Have fun making it.
Here it is : Quick creamy tomato soup
Have fun making it.
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